Job 38-40 displays God breaking through His silence and answering Job in the midst of his suffering. God tells him to "Dress for action like a man; I will question you and you will make it known to me." Job is then questioned repeatedly about where he was when God laid the foundations of the earth, tell me who shut the doors of the sea so the water would only go so far, who has authority over the animals and weather? Job humbles himself and declares his error and sees that God is holy and Job is not. All things belong to God (even Job) and He has authority to do as He pleases and His will dictates.
Oh that I would live in that mind set. We are not our own, we are His. I am His. Michael, the girls, and me are His. Yesterday we learned that Michael did not get a youth minister position of which we had been interviewing for over the last several weeks. We had been praying for this position and all that the future had to hold almost every moment we were awake. We both honestly thought the position was for him (the church, for us). Our first emotions were that it would be okay and we know firmly that God will provide another place. However, as the day continued we both felt our discontentment grow. We were really ready for the next phase of life to begin and now we feel a bit lost. Lost to know if we should just continue to patiently wait or to pursue other avenues of employment. We both really want to be out the city, to have a house, to be planted well in a church where we can faithfully serve and be known. In all of this, several questions arose. Are we walking in God's will? Is there something in our lives that disqualifies us from ministry (for Michael, it has been years of school and now he is ready...for me, I have been out of school for 4.5 years and have not used my degree in a vocational sense at all)? Where are we to go from here? I even asked whether or not I had the Spirit as a deposit in me. The reason for that question came from, "are we walking well with God?" If we are not, then we need the Spirit to direct us well because we feel as though we are. We want to be filled with the Spirit and be about the things of God always. Jesus is Savior and has saved our souls and lives. He has laid forth the true gospel before us....that we were dead and He made us alive again....for his glory and our freedom! We will hold to that. We will trust Him for He knows all things and we see as only a reflection in a mirror. Even a year from now, we will know where He wants us to be.
Father,
I seek your direction. We seek your direction. Both vocationally and spiritually. Please lead us in you and give us peace. Forgive us for our impatience and lack of understanding. Please increase our trust and belief in you. We are yours, fully surrendered to you and your plans. May we live with reckless abandon filled with joy and anticipation of your return. We love you and desire to serve you well in all we do both vocationally and non-vocationally. Please remove all idols from our hearts including and most especially ourselves. Be the center of our everything...remove us from sitting on high.
Love,
Your Child Alyson
