"Held-By Natalie Grant
Two months is too little
They let him go
They had no sudden healing
To think that providence
Would take a child from his mother
While she prays, is appalling
Who told us we'd be rescued
What has changed and
Why should we be saved from nightmares
Were asking why this happens to us
Who have died to live, it's unfair
This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was that when everything fell
We'd be held
This hand is bitterness
We want to taste it and
Let the hatred numb our sorrows
The wise hand opens slowly
To lilies of the valley and tomorrow
This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was that when everything fell
We'd be held
If hope if born of suffering
If this is only the beginning
Can we not wait, for one hour
Watching for our savior
This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was that when everything fell
We'd be held"
I write this blog on the other side of the struggle; after the Lord has brought clarity, peace, comfort, and words. During my Job season (see previous blog), I felt so unsure of everything. I questioned things, doubts crept in, and I felt worn out in my struggles. Today, however, I can see the beauty born from the ashes. Today, I am further in my walk with the Lord, I feel confident when I pray that he will answer and he hears me, and I view life a little differently. The above song has been a blessing to my soul as we walk through the after math of a dear friend's death. My sweet friend Katy Jo Morris went home to be with the Lord after a long battle with cancer. She passed away on Thanksgiving. Katy was a picture of a redeemed life...living vibrantly for the Lord. She is with the King of Kings now and gets to see his face. The thought of this overwhelms me. Another thing that overwhelms me is how God used this friend even after her death to shape my spiritual growth. It was a few weeks back now that I had a dream about Katy. The dream was not long, but it was very profound. The dream was placed in a sanctuary and I was located at the very back. Immediately, I heard someone over a loud speaker say Katy's best friend's name. I then saw this friend and we together walked to the front of the isle where we met Katy. She looked 10 years younger and full of life. We were able to hug her, cry with her, and just be with her for a few brief seconds. That was it. That was the whole dream. Well, the next day was super rough for me as I mourned my friend. I decided to write on Katy's Facebook wall as an outlet for this dream. AND I am so glad I did! Several people commented on the post, but one in particular blew me away. The very friend I walked the isle with in the dream had also dreamed about Katy that night!! This to me was a confirmation that God really had allowed us to see Katy one more time on this side of glory. My heart is overwhelmed at God's blessing to us! He continues to be very near in this sweet season and has given me more and more affection for Him! I am blessed to have a Dad who loves me this much! We are blessed to have a King that loves US this much! Thank you Lord! AND thank you Katy for being a blessing to us all! Love you sister!
