Obeying Jesus is like....

Why do you call me Lord, Lord, and not do what I tell you?  Everyone who comes to me and hears my words and does them, I will show you what he is like:  he is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid the foundation on the rock.  And when a flood arose, the stream broke against that house and could not shake it, because it had been well built.  But the one who hears and does not do them is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation.  Went he stream broke against it, immediately it fell, and the ruin of that house was great.  Luke 6:46-49

When we follow Jesus, fully surrendered to him, He hides our hearts in Him.  During all seasons of life, we stand securely knowing He will always take care of us.  Even when hard times come or times of waiting are extended, we are not shaken because Jesus is our Rock and Foundation.  He has made us His to do His will in His timing.  It is not reversed....we belong to HIM!!  I pray my heart would always remember this in every season. 

The Lord Gives and The Lord Takes Away

Then Job rose and tore his robe and shaved his head and fell on the ground and worshiped.  And he said, " Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked shall I return.  The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord."  In all this Job did not sin or charge God with wrong.  Job 1:20-22

I have a beautiful friend who loves Jesus and passionately shares Christ with those around her.  Her hope and joy rest securely in Christ.  She is a true inspiration and a delight to know.  With that said, this same friend has gone through difficult seasons in life to where instead of running from Christ (although there may have been some running) she ultimately ran to Him.  This friend is the oldest of 4 siblings born to a young couple with the hopes of a long joy filled life.  When my friend was 6 years old, her Mom unexpectedly died due to a sickness that came on quickly and took her quickly.  Dad was left to raise 4 children all under the age of 6; needless to say, the family was very close to Dad.  Then when my friend was in college, over Christmas break her Dad was admitted to the hospital and in a matter of weeks was diagnosed and died of cancer. 

On the eve of my friend's wedding her grandmother (Mom's Mom) gave her a little keep sake book that she had been filling out for my friend for years.  As my friend looked through the book she discovered that her grandmother had written at the time of Mom's death, "The Lord gives and the Lord takes away."  As a Christian, my friend finds peace in that statement.  To me, it signifies the strength with which God gave to her family.  For them to be able to make it through, to say such a statement, and for my friend to be such a joyful delight, the Lord truly has guided their steps.

I am so thankful for a Father who cares for us and is the AUTHOR of our faith.  He allows us to cling to Him in all situations and is the one who provides the strength to do so.  As my friend told me the story of her grandmother's words this week, I was filled with emotion.  I actually had to excuse myself from our home group setting and go to the bathroom to ball my eyes out!  Often times I think that if something happened to Michael or my sweet girls,  I would be devastated and unable to go on.  However, I know now the Lord truly provides strength and is the ultimate reason for my life.  He has blessed me with being a wife and a mother, but should He so choose, it could all be over today.  I am praying that the Lord truly is my first love and that I am securely relying and hoping in Him.  If the Lord were to take away, I would be more than just sad, but I know Christ would carry me through.

Seek true joy in Christ....

God's Faithful Love In Difficult Seasons

Michael shared Nehemiah 9 with me yesterday which basically goes through the rebellious history of the Israelites. Michael made the comment that God was so abundantly patient and gracious with Israel that the exile in itself was an act of grace. He made the point that God exiled Israel as punishment, but intended to restore them in the long run.



"But you are a God ready to forgive, gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love, and did not forsake them." Nehemiah 9:17b



Neither does God forsake us. During seasons of difficulty, complacency in spending time with the Lord can creep in. Over the past few weeks I have been overwhelmingly stressed out to where I go to sleep at night and wake up with a small amount of energy that quickly is zapped as I head into the day. I was hoping and praying for a better time this week, but too this week proved to be very difficult with the vast amount of work I had to take care of. I literally walked around my property with the thought in my head that my water could break at any moment because of all the movement and stress I am under.



I was so happy to have my leasing agent work yesterday as I gained some energy from being around another person. We were able to accomplish a ton! It really helped me with my "nesting" feeling that I have had over the last two weeks. We were able to plan the pool party for next Saturday, approve applications, send out all notices, email residents, and so much more. It was a much better day. However, when we got home, I received a call from my Mom that our little yorki, Mattie had been attacked by a neighbor’s dog in the back yard. At first they thought her jaw was completely gone as it was fully covered in blood. While Mattie is still at the emergency vet this morning waiting to have surgery, we think the dog just ripped off the skin, some tissue, and her teeth. Mattie means a ton to my family...she is the last dog alive from my childhood as we have put two other dogs (old weenie dogs) to sleep this year. Mattie is more like my parents child than a dog and I know they are devastated over this right now. We are praying for recovery and that she will not need to be put to sleep.



With that said, I spent most of the night waking up several times (pregnant potty breaks) and thinking that every time I would find myself in labor. In part this excited me (we are 35 1/2 weeks pregnant and survival and health outside would be totally good now), but at the same time I have my shower this weekend and I will be picking up a friend from the airport this morning who is staying with us through Monday. I do not know what we would do if Ainsly decided to make her appearance today. Michael asked me to try and make it a week from this Monday...that's my goal anyways. By then, the pool party at work will be over, I will have met with the lady who is covering me for maternity leave, and Ainsly's stuff will be here and ready to go. I am so excited about Ainy, as Ady calls her. I am ready to see her sweet face, learn her personality more, and see how Ady acts with her. What a true blessing it is to have two little girls!! Our God is gracious and loving. He never brings us through seasons we are unable to bare...He is my strength!  And who knows, maybe the heavy stress is a way of answering my prayers for an early birth.



Father, thank you for your loving kindness and for caring for me when I rely on myself for strength. You are faithful always and in you I will place my trust on a daily basis.

Love you,

Jesus

And when the men had come to him (Jesus), they said, "John the Baptist has sent us to you , saying, 'Are you the one who is to come, or shall we look for another?" In that hour he healed many people of diseases and plagues and evil spirits and on many who were blind he bestowed sight. And he answered them, "Go and tell John what you have seen and heard: the blind receive their sight, the lame walk, lepers are cleansed, and the deaf hear, the dead are raised up, the poor have good news preached to them. And blessed is the one who is not offended by me." Luke 7:20-23

The depth of Christ is magnificent!  I stand in awe as I am reminded that our God came to be with us, performed miraculous signs, and saved those whom he has chosen.  On days when it is difficult for me to feel nearness with the Father, I am blessed to remember that He did draw near and is still near, by way of the Holy Spirit.  I hope and pray that I am daily pressing into Him so that He may grow me for His glory and purposes.  I seek to know that I am living in the middle of His will and that even the "normal" daily activities serve a great purpose for the Kingdom.  I do dream of Africa and future hopes in ministry, but right now I am more than blessed to be the wife of Michael Presley, the Mommy of Adyson and Ainsly, a daughter, sister, friend, and hopefully more to others.  I pray that my light is shining forth to bring the gospel to those who are far from the Lord.  Life with Christ is the only true life....He is the sole purpose for our existence and without Him there is no purpose in life.  Thank you Jesus for saving me and making me yours!!  Thank you for the ultimate purpose of our existence and I hope we are living it out well for your name sake.

In Christ Alone!

Unity in Christ!

"And he gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the shepherds and teachers, to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ, until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ, so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes.  Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love."  -Ephesians 4:11-16

The body of Christ is the Church.  Each one of us are called to strengthen others in the faith thereby strengthening us all.  What a beautiful picture of the Lord's gracious love!  By standing firm on the gospel truth that we are loved by Christ and chosen in Him before the foundation of the world to be reconciled to God for HIS glory and praise, we are to encourage our brother and sister.  This is how we grow to maturity by relying on the strength of the Church (Christ's body) so that we are held firmly and not tossed about by the schemes of the evil one nor cunning doctrines that hold no truth.  We confess, repent, and receive from one another the truth of Christ.  We also listen to our brother and sister confess, repent, and then we share the truth of Christ!  Hold tight to the gospel of Christ, lovingly share the truth with the body of Christ, and receive well when the body shares truth with  you!

Love you all!

Struggle: The Lord and Marriage

My heart utterly breaks while thinking about the numerous conversations my husband and I have had over and over again in the last month.  I have gone from complete security to feeling lost.  I feel like my anchor is floating through the water with no ground to secure us to.  All of this is due to the theological disagreement Michael and I are struggling with. 

Our marriage has always been one of relative ease and joy.  Michael truly is my best friend and I turn to him in almost every life situation; however during the conversations of the last little while, my emotions have pointed me in the opposite direction wanting me to run (by run, I mean shut down and not talk about the situation anymore and pretend it is not taking place....not physically running, but definitely emotionally running).  On top of the confusion and fear, the Lord has revealed bitter ugliness in me.  How complacent I can be in my walk with the Lord.  I get into my routine of Bible Study, prayers (short throughout the day or a little longer during Bible study, but not true pour out your heart to the Lord prayers), and "Christian Action."  My heart tends to fall back into this legalistic tendency without even realizing it and before I know it, my walk has become mundane.  I stop and think, when was the last time the Spirit led my prayer life?  When was the last time I heard the Lord speak?  On top of the devastating emotional struggle this produces in me, I then begin to think about how much more Michael is pursuing the Lord.  He truly seeks the Father and studies scripture often.  Michael is truly seeking the Lord and with this theological struggle we are speaking of I begin to get scared.  Is the Lord really showing Michael that this is truth?  If so, why would he not show this to me as well and clear up the issue?  Additionally, why hasn't the Lord revealed these things to be true to my heroes of the faith (Michaels too) like John Piper, Matt Chandler, C.S. Lewis?  I have begun to really question these devout men of the Lord and whether or not it is safe to trust them  (everything in me wants to fully trust them).  At the same time I do realize that our hope should never be placed on man and that I should always read or listen to others with discernment.  I so want to trust the Lord here, but really do not know which way is truth.  They both seem like valid arguments and in the end, I do not think one belief versus the other disqualifies anyone for ministry....it does however change how you would act out ministry.

Please pray for us on this matter.  I know I am being rather vague, but I hope you can see the sincere struggle in my heart over this.  Please pray that the Lord lands us on the same ground and that it is complete truth!  Please pray that the enemy will not gain a foothold in either of us nor our marriage.  Please seek rest and peace for us.  Lastly, please pray that the Father's purposes for the struggle will prevail and that this will become an important part of our sanctification.

Mother's Day Weekend

This weekend was a joy!  On Friday night, we had a homegroup slumber party (guys at one house, girls at another).  The girls had so much fun eating italian food and talking for HOURS!!  It was wonderful and exactly what we needed.  I feel like we really bonded and will be more open to seeking each others help in times of need.  After that, we spent the evening at Michael's parents house for Mother's Day dinner and games.  It was a blast!  I love getting together with the Presley clan and playing hilarious games....those Presley men can really make you laugh, especially when they are all together!

On Sunday, Ady and I went to church (Michael was ill).  I honestly had an enjoyable time being able to fully care for my daughter and sing with her while we were driving.  From there, we went to my parent's house and spent the afternoon eating and being with my family.  I so enjoyed talking with my Granny and Papa!  They are so wonderful to me.  On an interesting note, my Granny had two children other than my mother that did not survive after birth.  The most ironic thing in the world is that Ady was born on Richard's birthday (Richard is the boy my Granny lost) and now Ainsley is due on August 8th, which is close to when Mary Denise (the girl my Granny lost) was born (August 2nd)....I think Ainsley may make her appearance a few days early!!  It is neat how the Lord redeems days and memories as he does.  Thank you for taking a sorrowful day and turning it to joy!

More thoughts to come....

Pregnancy Takes It Out of You!

For those of you who do not know, I am 26 weeks pregnant with our second daughter, Ainsley.  She is due August 8th, although I am sure hoping she comes a couple of weeks early!!  As the Summer approaches my body begins to hurt more and more.  Over the past few weeks I have been in some real pain from having back pains, my hips popping out of socket, and other pains (I won’t go into detail, but pregnant women should know what I’m talking about).  However, every time I feel Ainsley turn over, kick, or elbow me I fall more and more in love with her!  I am so excited to have two daughters and very excited about meeting Ainsley in the next few months.

The physical pain does make every movement harder for me, but the real struggle lately has been emotional stress.  There is so much going on at work right now and I am really feeling the weight of the responsibility that I bare.  Also, Michael and I have been going through a season of theological spiritual growth that has truly been taxing on our minds, strength, and will.  However, the Lord is faithful and He provides us with the strength we need to make it through each day and once the "lesson" is over, we will have a deeper and richer understanding of the Lord and the Gospel.

I was reading through Psalm 5 this morning and was so encouraged that the Lord is who we call on to protect us from our enemy and those who do not fear the Lord.  I hope the following passage is encouraging to you all.

"But I, through the abundance of your steadfast love, will enter your house.  I will bow down toward your holy temple in the fear of you.  Lead me, O Lord, in your righteousness because of my enemies; make your way straight before me." Psalm 5:7-8

When I am stressed to the max and the enemy is pushing down, The LORD protects and sustains me.  He is my help and my strength.  I pray that I will rely on Him moment by moment.

Redemption Throughout History

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him.  In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved.  In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us, in all  wisdom and insight making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth.

In him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will, so that we who were the first to hope in Christ might be to the praise of his glory.  In him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit, who is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it, to the praise of his glory.

                                                                                  Ephesians 1:3-14

My heart is joyful in reading this passage.  To know that the Lord planned the gospel story of salvation before time began and set it forth on the stage of history.  What a glorious and loving Father we have who brings us into his redemptive story as a joy and delight to him for the sole purpose of his glory.  I am blessed by a Father who gently reminds me of my worth in Him alone and romances my soul.  It has been such a blessing over the past 4 years to see the Lord take me from a place of legalistic Christianity to a Spirit filled joyful relationship with the Father.  Thank you Lord for your plan and timing and training.  I pray that I would continue to walk patiently in this life knowing the Father is in full control and has a micro plan for my life that lines up perfectly with His LARGE plan for eternity.

Praying for a trusting and faithful heart moment by moment.

Life and Death

This week has been rough and sweet.  The week started off well with an afternoon of laziness with my beautiful daughter, Ady and good friend, Teri.  We enjoyed just hanging out and not having a care in the world.  This changed quickly as I went back to work on Tuesday.  Without going into detail, a friend passed on to be with the Lord.  There are many other circumstances surrounding this story that I am intentionally leaving out, but understand that this was very difficult for me.  After a day of being numb and on autopilot to simply get things done, the Lord provided a sweet and emotional moment right before bed.  As I was praying, I was led to read the two blogs that I follow (both of whom have premature babies in the NICU and have lost other babies from the same pregnancy), mareandreid.blogspot.com and bryanandrobynadams.blogspot.com.  Finally, after a day of pent up emotion while reading the day’s thoughts and journey’s of these other two women, I was able to let the flood gates open.  I cried and cried....I think I even scared Michael a little (LOL).  What healing crying can bring. 

All week I have been thinking of the circumstances surrounding Tuesday and have been thinking about how glorious it is that when we die as Christians, we are ushered into God's presence....the real thing, not some ethereal heaven place, but actually to be with our LORD.  What a sweet and POWERFUL thing that is.  As I continue to read the above mentioned blogs and ponder over this week, Brook Frasier's song C.S. Lewis Song encourages me to know that life after death is abundant life, life now is meant to be lived, and all the while God is in control.

Enjoy the lyrics...

If I find in myself desires nothing in this world can satisfy,
I can only conclude that I was not made for here
If the flesh that I fight is at best only light and momentary,
then of course I'll feel nude when to where I'm destined I'm compared

[CHORUS:]
Speak to me in the light of the dawn
Mercy comes with the morning
I will sigh and with all creation groan as I wait for hope to come for me

Am I lost or just less found? On the straight or on the roundabout of the wrong way?
is this a soul that stirs in me, is it breaking free, wanting to come alive?
Cos my comfort would prefer for me to be numb
And avoid the impending birth of who I was born to become

[BRIDGE:]
For we, we are not long here
Our time is but a breath, so we better breathe it
And I, I was made to live, I was made to love, I was made to know you
Hope is coming for me
Hope, He's coming

Sanctification, Sin, and Lies of the Enemy

I use to think that as I progressed in the Christian life, I would finally arrive someday at a place where I had mastered all things.  I felt as though I could attain my perfection by living under the law.  It has been several years now since the Lord completely re-shaped my mindset and understanding of what the Christian life truly looks like. 

Romans 3:20 says:
"For by works of the law no human being will be justified in his sight, since through the law comes knowledge of sin."

By trying to obey rules and regulations (established by myself and some of the so called "Christian Community") I was actually falling deeper and deeper into sin.  My righteousness was in all actuality idolatry of self.  I wanted to be perfect and have a certain spiritual life.  Instead, the Lord provided me with 2 agonizing years of begging and pleading for His nearness while I tried everything humanly possible to situate myself well before God.  Little did I know, I would NEVER be able to make myself right before the Lord.  One day, the Lord decided to speak and break down the veil that laid over my legalistic and breaking heart.  He revealed to me that HE is enough!  He paid the debt for all my sin and now I am called to live a NEW life fully led by the Spirit of God.  A life in which I no longer hold the reins, but where God has complete control.

In this walk, the enemy tries his best to scheme and throw me off track.  In fact, many times I have given into the lies of the enemy not realizing that he was the one speaking.  I have found myself (like in my last post) not relying on the Lord's provision and will.  I find myself seeking for goals and dreams that the Lord has given me, but in a way that brings discontentment for where I am now.  The Lord has placed mighty dreams in my heart that have shaped who I am and the way I think, but because I am not seeing the fulfillment of these dreams as of yet, I often believe the lie that I am not doing all the Lord has planned for me.  This brings shame and anguish into my heart.

After hearing Lee Lewis (one of my pastors at The Village Church) speak, I now have a mighty tool for holding steadfast against Satan's schemes.  Lee talked about how at a certain point in his life, he sat down at a Starbucks to prepare for a day of ministry and all of a sudden he heard a voice (not audible) saying "I wonder if you could make another woman love you like your wife does?"  Lee immediately knew this was an attack of the enemy and began to press into the Lord for strength and for Him to remove the voice.  Additionally, Lee contacted via text several friends in order for them to pray for him and know what was going on.  As Lee went about his day, the voice subsided.  However, around lunch time he heard the same voice with a different message saying, "how can you be a spiritual leader for people and yet you struggle with temptation like this morning?"  Again, Lee held steadfastly to the gospel believing that He was made right because of Christ and not because of any human act.  He also knew that the voice this morning was Satan's scheme and not something Lee was actually struggling with.  Instead of allowing the enemy an inch of ground, Lee stood strong knowing that he is a NEW man in Christ Jesus.  The Lord has and continues to sanctify Lee so that he is able to stand on the truth of the gospel and proclaim it over himself daily.

This story spoke to me in mighty ways.  I now know that I am able to stand firm against these voices that bring accusation and condemnation.  They are not voices to be listened to or entertained, but rather voices that are to be stood up against knowing the truth of the gospel.  May the gospel be the shaping tool for our lives, not a pursuit of perfection.

First Time Blogger

So, this is my first time to ever blog.  It feels a bit strange to just have my thoughts out there online, but I am being obedient to the Lord to not fear what others think.  To start this blog, I would like to share my intent and purpose of blogging in the first place.  I like to journal and read over old entries months or years later to see where the Lord has grown me and brought me through.  It is a way to say thank you Lord for your faithfulness and a way to encourage my heart in prayer and the Christian life.  I plan to share revelations, heartfelt moments, rebukes, the ugliness of my heart and so much more through this blog.  My hope is that the Lord will be glorified by my writing and your reading.

My life's goal and desire is to serve the Lord in vocational ministry.  To actually work either in a church or overseas as a missionary sharing the gospel with others and encouraging fellow believers in the faith.  I have always had a passion for ministry and have focused my life toward that end.  I attended Hardin-Simmons University and received a Bachelor’s Degree in Missions (Cross-Cultural Studies).  Immediately following graduation, I married my best friend and high school sweetheart Michael who happens to be younger than I am.  This basically means, he had not finished school by the time I graduated so the last four years of marriage have consisted of Michael taking part time to full time loads at school and working.  In the meantime, after months of ministry job searching, I had to give in and begin a career in the apartment industry.  I started out as a leasing agent and was promoted to property manager immediately following the birth of our first child.  It has been neat to see how the Lord has used my property (we live onsite) as a ground for sharing the gospel and building up believers in the faith.  We are home group leaders through our church and therefore use our free townhome to host our meetings, events, and hangouts.  Additionally, we have had many neighbors join our group and get to know the believers in our home group.  We are definitely where we are suppose to be even though it is not actual vocational ministry.

With that said, one of my biggest sin struggles is trusting the Lord for his provision of ministry.  I focus so much on the fact that I am 4 years out of school and have yet to use my degree in a career type setting.  Often this makes me feel like I must be too immature in my faith or not close enough to God.  Additionally, it seems as though when ministry doors looks to be opening, they are immediately closed.  This happened again this week and my heartfelt utterly crushed.  Honestly, I broke down before the Lord and begged for forgiveness for the ungodly things I was thinking.  I was thinking of my unworthiness (in Christ I have complete worth), my lack of financial success, my jealous heart for more, and how I felt like I would never be given the opportunity for ministry.  After pouring myself out before the Lord, I immediately fell asleep utterly exhausted.

In the morning, the Lord gave me restored hope and grounded me back to the truth of the gospel.  He reminded me that I am HIS...not my own.  He has a purpose and a will that He truly is accomplishing in His timing.  I am called to serve where I am, not in a future place.  He reminded me of my only worth which is JESUS!  Jesus has made me a new creation and a DAUGHTER OF THE KING!  I need nothing else to have worth and nothing else can truly provide real worth.  My hope is to hold steadfastly to these truths and rely on His mercy and timing in all things.