Jesus, My Joy

Well it's a hard day...We started the day by taking Daddy (Michael) to airport at 8am. He will be in the beautiful state of Oregon for 11 days for school and tests. After we dropped Michael off, we had to take Ainy for her 1 year shots! Everything started out well at the doctor, but after 45 minutes of waiting in the lobby, we were all starting to act wild. We finally made our way into our own little room. At that point, I found out that the DTAP shot is still on back order (Ainy has only received her 2 and 4 month DTAP vaccines as she was not able to receive this shot at her 6 months and now 12 month visits). I attempted to see if the health department would give the shots to us, but from what I read on their site, you have to either be on CHIP, Medicaid, or be uninsured to be vaccinated there. Lastly, I asked my doctor if there were other pediatricians we could visit just for that shot and she told me that the shortage is across the board. My only hope now is to hold out until the vaccine comes off of backorder. Here comes my fear...what happens if Ainy gets sick?! Another thought is Michael is job searching right now so we will most likely be putting them in a day care or group babysitter setting...will the school even allow Ainy to go there without the vaccine? Needless to say, I left the doctor’s office with a screaming baby, a very tired and wild 3 year old, and in low spirits. I finally got home and put both girls to sleep and let it all sink in. As I sit here with low spirits and the beginning of loneliness setting in (this tends to be my first response when Michael leaves on trips...although I was hoping I was getting better here), I do hear the soft small voice of God asking me to reach out to Him. The Lord is in control of all things and He is to be the one my heart desires above all else. When I am down, I need to run to Him. I need Him to take this weary heart and revolutionize it by His power and might. So often I fail to comprehend that the God of the universe also made me and LOVES me beyond belief! He really really does!! On that note, I also have been hearing the snaky voice of the enemy telling me lies about how I am not who I want to be and not good enough to ever be that person. What a snaky jerk the devil is!! Praise be to God that we are more than conquerors over the enemy by the blood of Jesus!! Praise God that He is real and true and the only way to eternal life! Thank you Jesus for making me stand firm even in times when I could easily crumble. You are worthy to receive all honor and glory! "At that time Jesus declared, "I thank you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, that you have hidden these things from the wise and understanding and revealed them to little children; yes, Father, for such was your gracious will. All things have been handed over to me by my Father, and no one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and anyone to whom the Son chooses to reveal him. Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." Matthew 11:25-30 Thank you for revealing yourself to me Lord...you are my peace, joy, and rest! Amen!